The Rules
Each Tong makes a list of ten celebrities they intend to murder that year. As each celebrity is knocked off, we make a note against their name to this effect. The most efficient Tong wins a prize (a hat, to be collected from Woodchester Mansion).
Tongs may not list the same celebrity as a target, as it is not always clear who was responsible for the hit (e.g. if it has been carefully concealed as a long-term degenerative illness).
Entries
 BOBCAT | SIBEN and STEVE | TERRIEBOT | TheGuffalo ( from [t4nk] ) |  SPIMCOOT |  | NuggetHaus |  LordMaderlock | |
| 1. | Elton John (overdose)  | Robert Kilroy-Silk (cranial injuries) | Neil Kinnock | Trevor Nelson | Harold Pinter (cancer) | Stelios Haji-Ioannou (cut-throat marketing gets literal) | Mike Reid (cock injury, bacon slicer) | Ben Affleck (failed to act way out of wet paper bag) |
| 2. | Margaret Thatcher, Milk Snatcher (age) | AinsleyHarriot (poisoned fairy cake) | Michael Jackson (self-inflicted) | Noel Edmonds | Humphrey Lyttleton (inhales own trumpet) | H from Steps (incompetence) | Dale Winton (run over by trolley) | Pete Doherty (being fey) |
| 3. | Mel Brooks (heartbreak) | Gary Glitter (firing squad) | Dawn French (fat) | Roy "Chubby" Brown | Ibrahim Jaafari (assassination) | Peter O'Toole (looking forward to the TV retrospective) | Esther Rantzen (hanggliding) | Jammie Oliver (Completely puckered) |
| 4. | Estelle Getty (dementia) | Norman Wisdom (old) | Oprah Winfrey | The Crazy Frog | Leslie Philips (age) | Chas&Dave (seems unlikely but hey) | Witney Houston and Bobby Brown (suicide pact) | Arnold Schwarzenegger (lava) |
| 5. | Eminem (gunshot) | Augusto Pinochet | Rolf Harris | David Caruso | Tom Baker (politeness - it’s his turn) | Jean-Michel Jarre (riddled with laser burns) | David Blunkett | James Blunt (bores himself) |
| 6. | The Pope (heart) | Gordon Brown | Bobby Robson (football) | Bruce Forsythe | Clement Freud (terminal hesitation) | Peter Davison (jumps the gun) | Paul McKenna? (hypnotises self to death) | Steve Jobs (shame) |
| 7. | Kirk Douglas (age) | Bernard Manning | Sadaam Hussein | June Sarpong | Michael Winner (large intestine leaps up through neck and throttles him) | Jodie Marsh (burst implants after a fall in the BB house) | [Trisha] | The lovely Samantha (excessive innuendo) |
| 8. | Donald Sutherland (hack to neck by dwarf) | Russell Grant (heart disease) | Victoria Beckham (thin) | Jethro | Charles Kennedy (heart attack) | Eric Idle (drink) | Joan Rivers | Tony Blair (nanny goat enema) |
| 9. | Christopher Lee (age) | Alex Ferguson | Prince Phillip | Lou Reed | Anne Robinson (petrifaction by Botox) | Richard Branson (plane crash) | Terry Christian | Colin Farrell (sex) |
| 10. | Nigel Lawson (fat) | Michael Barrymore (suicide) | Ronnie Corbett (solo fears) | Dot Cotton | John Cleese (embarrassment) | Camilla (turned to stone) | Mariah Carey (shattered) | |
 | | | | | | | |
Did the Pope die? Otherwise, it's November and we've been rubbish at this.
- Not this year he didn't. Shazz-but! --r
Do you really have animus for Kirk Douglas or are you just after that hat?
- I only have real ill will for those I've marked with an Asterix. --bc
Can TerrieBot join in? She would be good at this game.
- I can! ( and have - see above) -T
- Coolio! Steve said Prince Phillip too, as well as Mike Reid, but I forgot to write it in.
-
Dude, I done captured the old Milk Snatcher already! (She's doomed)-- Bobcat
- Darn - my excitement at the thought of her demise obviously clouded my vision. Have substituted someone similar. T
My number 7 is for Spim, to complete the set. 1 is not just for hat, but if by the end of the year I'm tied, well, I've made bigger sacrifices (see 10)
Maderlock
Please remove yourself and myself from the grid. These must be people in the public eye dude!!
- Are we not? Oh, OK. Can I keep the lovely Samantha? If not on the grid, then in a box?
- Whobe this woman?
- She be [Samantha]
Scratchpad
Okay, maybe AmitabhBachchan?, as Mnki said that we'd hear about it if he died.
Guests
If you're surfing by and have an idea for someone to add to the hitlist, put it in the "send us a message" box below. We'll make a hitlist for our WikiGuests? too. Include your name and email or postal address, and if your celebrity is the first to snuff it, the Tongs will send you a hat. Email and postal addresses will not be published on the TongsWiki.
See also: /Progress so far