Come on-a my house my house, I'm gonna give you candy
Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give a you
Apple a plum and apricot-a too eh
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house I'm gonna give a you
Figs and dates and grapes and cakes eh
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you candy
Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you everything

Come on-a my house my house, I'm gonna give you Christmas tree
Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you
Marriage ring and a pomegranate too ah
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house I'm gonna give a you
Peach and pear and I love your hair ah
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house a come on
Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you Easta-egg
Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you
Everything - everything - everything

SPOKEN: Come on-a my house-a!

On reviewing this, I notice that Rosemary is using the whole song as a way to marry the poor sap who she's singing to. In between all the promise of fruit, she promises a marriage ring. Rosemary, this is not the way to get someone to marry you.

Come On-A My House was reportedly a big hit for Rosemary Clooney but has sadly been lost to posterity... until now! (Being tucked away on a Tongs Wiki page should really put it on the map.) Written by DonMusic (presumably after a night on the peach schnapps), he evidently didn't beat himself up too much over the lyrics to this one. Rosemary, however, was a game girl and made a good fist of it we think.

Temporarily, here is a version of the song: http://www.tongs.org.uk/tmp/myhouse.mp3

Well done SiBen, I've been looking for an mp3 of it all day without success. Actually, it's not bad, although, from the musical accompaniment I suspect it's not her house at all, but that of The AddamsFamily.

Is this the version you meant? It's really weird, I thought it might be a whacky version.

Before researching DonMusic's alter ego Ross Bagdasarian I'd never heard of the song, let alone heard it. Not only do the lyrics seem to make sense when she sings it, they actually sound quite sexy. She's probably one of these sorts who can make the ingredients of pile treatment sound sexy.

I'll have to remember Peach and pear and I love your hair ah as a good chatup line.

Now there's a thought... how about: damsons and sloes and I love your nose.

This could be another page like CheeseCulture, but instead FruitFruitLoveYourBodypart.

I'd never have thought of that! Thanks SiBen, know how much you dig CheeseCulture.

Oh shit, I'm so sorry MnkiFrki, I completely forgot the pomegranates.

Fact: As Spimcoot mentions above, Come On-A My House was co-written by Ross Bagdasarian, who was also the impresario of that irritating high-pitched trio, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

I'd studiously been avoiding mentioning that.

ANAR!

I don't wish to appear dim, but what is anar? Anal radar?

Anar is Hindi for 'pomegranate'. See IchakdanaBichakdana.

Right! As in 'seed on seed, seed on seed, you stick one on your partner's finger in church. Anar!' Suddenly and improbably, everything becomes clear.